My day in that tank

I spent the day in the Yummie Tummie tank, and it went something like this (that's not me above, by the way):

Noon: Wedged- yes, wedged- into it. Put it on with jeans and a tank over it. I admired my side and front views, but was concerned that I would have to keep pulling it down as it would ride up a bit over the top of my jeans. No visible Muffin Top.

1 pm: Feeling thin and sexy, but I must admit, not really comfortable.

2 pm: I admit, I feel thinner. I prance into my daughter's school like I had five pounds fall of me.

3 pm: In Best Buy with my daughter, I worry that some people may look at me and think that I am wearing a girdle. Once that word enters my head, I know what I am really wearing.

3:30 pm: Home. Wondering why I am still wearing this thing because it is restrictive and irritating. Sticking it out for the sake of research.

4:15 pm: My tank over it is getting too baggy around the slippery panel. I do notice that this contraption makes me keep things sucked in, though.

4:45 pm: I note that I would feel incredibly self conscious if someone put their arm around my waist.


5 pm: Visions of 1950's women in girdles dance through my head.

7 pm: My friend comes over for dinner and American Idol. I was waiting for a, "Wow, do you look sleek and svelte" comment that never came. I can't take it any more. I am going mad in this tank. After the struggle of removal, which involves it stuck on my head for a brief period, I free myself. As I don a Juicy hoodie, my body feels like it has just been released from the grip of a boa constrictor.

Bottom line? Who are we kidding?! It's a girdle. I say, for special- and SHORT- occasions only.